


Avengers PR has to deal with this...

by Mystical_Firefly_Avenger



Series: Barneses Do What They Want [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 'pancake' is a complement., 'waffle' is an insult, FBI agents, Glitter, Paintball, Sarah's Troublesome Trio, Superhero Shenanigans, Swearing, sniping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8681815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystical_Firefly_Avenger/pseuds/Mystical_Firefly_Avenger
Summary: So the government wants to interrogate the two 90+ year old assassin POWs living in Avengers Tower for HYDRA info. Yeah, nah, did anyone mention they are amnesiacs? Or the small-very-important thing that is they (and their nonagenarian 1940s buddy) are pranksters? Long story short: Sarah's Troublesome Trio does what they want.





	

With the mess of the Sokovia Accords being redacted and SHIELD (all-new and run by Coulson) having a spak-attack over two master assassins breaking into the top-secret-max-security Avengers compound, the Avengers’ PR group didn’t have much time to prepare for the chaos which was Sarah’s Troublesome Trio.  
Sure, there were stories from the 1930s of Steve, Bucky, and Becky being the neighbourhood rascals but those stories were 80 years old and there was no actual records. Unfortunately, most governments don’t heed way-back-when stories so the FBI had the bright idea to send a team to bring the Winter Soldier and Shadow in for questioning about HYDRA.

  
The team of 3 officials and 10 agents entered the Avengers Tower, showed their IDs and stated their business.

Up on the Avengers common room floor, Tony turned to ask Steve what they were going to do about the situation only to see him vanish into the elevator. Tony sighed and pulled up the video feed.  
“5 bucks Steve will guilt trip them to leave within the first 5 minutes by using the Captain America Disappointed Face” Clint said, leaning back on the couch.  
“I’m taking you up on that bet. He’ll have them leaving in 3 minutes” Tony replied.

Steve met the agents in the foyer of the Tower. The officials stepped forward, “Captain Rogers, we are here on government business. The FBI needs to interrogate the Winter Soldier and the Shadow. You cannot interfere.”  
Steve frowned “Any information the FBI wants is in the SHIELDRA database dump. Bucky and Rebecca don’t need to be questioned for any reason”  
The first official steeled himself “We have been given orders. There is missing information and the only people who will know are the Winter Soldier and Shadow”  
“There is no Winter Soldier or Shadow here.” Steve said, unmoving.  
“Yes, there is. There is security camera videos and records at this tower’s security desk of them entering and that they are currently here.”  
“No. There is a chance you saw the records of James Barnes and his sister Rebecca Barnes being here but there are no HYDRA assets here.”  
The official huffed exasperatedly “Captain Rogers, I- ”

_ppftch!_

The man broke off as a splat of neon pink goo hit his nose. He was frozen in shock for a moment until a second (this time green) paint-ball hit him in the chest and the group dived for cover.

The agents hunkered down behind furniture but it did nothing to block the increasingly frequent shots of paint. But to no avail, any and all equipment and body parts was targeted including ear lobes and buttons on their walkie-talkies.

  
One unlucky agent tried to return fire with his ICER, he could see that the shots were coming from high up across the foyer from them and fired a few rounds. There was a bout of rough cursing in Russian and the shots paused.  
The agents peeked out from their hiding places tentatively, there was no movement or sounds.  
That was until a round black object dropped down on top of the agent holding the ICER and exploded in a bright burst of rainbow glitter that stuck beautifully to the paint.  
They heard faint cackling from above them and a large pellet of pink paint nailed an agent in the nether regions, sending him down hard.

  
“That’s cheating! I’m taking a point off for that.” Steve called from where he was leaning on the wall next to the elevator and marked something down on a piece of paper with his pen. The agents stared incredulously at him, some stunned with pure confusion and disbelief.  
There were two more splats of green paint, both hitting their mark on foreheads, and Steve gestured to the ceiling “And you just regained the lost points. But your still 4 points below Barnes.”

  
“WHICH BARNES, ROGERS?” Was shouted from the rafters and Steve shrugged.  
“Well you both wrote down Barnes as your identifier for scoring so I don’t know.”  
There were four more shots that rained down on the terrified agents. “I’m outta ammo. What’s the score?”

  
“I’m also out.”

  
Steve checked his piece of paper, “Currently standing at 237 – 236. In favour of Barnes.”  
A pair of tall, black-clad figures dropped from the rafters directly in front of the group of FBI and dumped their paintball guns into the hands of the stunned agents.  
One official stepped forwards angrily “You, the Winter Soldier, need to come with us to be questioned! As does the Shadow!”  
Bucky turned to face him, and slowly raised an eyebrow “Really?”

  
The official spluttered “Yes! I just said so!”  
Bucky snorted, lips quivering before breaking down laughing uncontrollably.  
“Why are you laughing?”

  
Bucky took a few moments to catch his breath “You, the FBI want to interrogate a fucking amnesiac.”  
He collapsed back into fits of laughter while Becky turned to the agents and fingered her knife.

  
“You stupid waffles.” She said, smiling sweetly while her eyes promised death and carnage within the hour.  
“Come on, Clint wants to watch Robin Hood.” Steve said leading the two assassins back to the elevator.  
The FBI watched as the trio left, one assassin creepily smile-glaring, one assassin laughing, and Captain America giving them the Disappointed Face™.  
At least three agents fell into a dead faint.  
Needless to say, they didn’t come back.


End file.
